im thinking that it is actually intriguing to see that ive grown so much and yet at the same time, theres no difference in me now and in sec sch. the same thing is i get influenced very easily. though i know very clearly whats right from wrong, and won't do wad is not right, i still get influenced. the thing that had changed however is actually ive deproved in many areas. like singing for example.
but one thing that hadn't changed from last year was to care. in fact its been wearing me out but i welcome it cause it makes me remember what its like to feel. and i like doing it. dunno how to describe but its like when someone gets over their problem, i feel happy for them:) thats prob why i haven't given up till now.
bgr. well its getting to me. in a sense its kinda influencing me,with all the sudden open bgrs popping up around me, to get into one but ive thought it through. well, im not going to get into one. unless theres a person who wans to get into one with me then maybe.. but im not going to get into one just for the sake of getting into one. seriously ive been dam confused bout the crap thats been surging within me. why can't i just meet someone who makes me cathartic just as i make her feel the same way? hmm. just leaving this mess for the Lord. take my joy and my sorrow oh Lord. it really isn't helping when im singing more than words.
i wrote two poems im just gonna dump them here. annoyed alr, took much longer on this post than i wanted thinking of wad to write. so yeah here u go, enjoy.
Perceptions
A little star in the night sky,
Gazing upwards in silence, I said,
its all alone.
A pearl in the ocean,
Gazing downwards in silence, I said,
its wondrous.
A friend that I went to in despair,
gazing at him I said,
you don’t understand me.
A teardrop on a cheek,
I gazed at it and said,
You’re sad.
I gazed back at him
Thanks for noticing, but what can you do?
I can..
Be there for you
I gazed into the openness
Thank you, Friend.
and.....
Alone.
At 11pm daily,
Silence. That’s all I hear.
Silence, save the howling of the wind.
Silence, save the roaring of engines.
Silence, save the sound of my typing.
Silence…..
Silence……..
At 11 pm daily,
Alone, that’s what I am now.
Alone, that’s what gives me fear.
Alone, that’s what I feel.
Alone, that’s what the whispers of the voices in the wind tells me
Alone……
Alone………..
At 11 pm daily,
I think, am I really alone?
I wonder, who can I talk to right now?
I hunger, for someone I can care for.
I long, for affections aplenty.
I envision, what life is without loneliness.
I realize, I am not alone,
I found out, I have brothers and sisters who care.
I grasped the truth, that the Lord is with me.
and last but not least, the dam song im learning -.-
GIRL:
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
GUY:
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know
GIRL:
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
GUY:
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
(BRIDGE)
GUY:
Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
GIRL:
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know
GIRLS:
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
GUYS:
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
(BRIDGE BRIDGE: everyone)
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