i was mad. mad at myself for allowing me to get even more involved that i should. that i should had kept my distance. lol. and i just simply directed my anger at him. well that was the easy part. Lol. who was i kidding that she needed help? she can just solve her problems by herself, shes Older than me somemore. lol! i should had been confident in her ehh! hahahaha! as can i. im going to solve this dam problem by myself. mostly.

im tired. so dam bloody tired. i guess i had been running away from this, just burying it with tons of other things, not thinking about it really helped alot, but when im tired like now, my thoughts just seem to wander and it just goes around those few circles. nobody ever really knew why i got down and out whenever i get well, rejected. its actually just partially due to yeah me getting rejected. but mostly, in fact everytime, its just that im afraid that because of one dam change, in how i feel for someone, it would ruin and destroy the friendship. which is actually true for majority of the populace. oh well. one is only as happy as how he/she wans themself to be. so thats what im going to do! a smile on my face!

a shared blog is not a shared blog if only one person posts on it. haha! which makes this blog so interesting for me! XP

For some reason, ive been relatively down and out this week. dam tired. sianz la. rush this rush that. now im cui ttm!

hahahaha! you too dear! seeya around sch next wk sis (:

* ^-^ Smile~~~~*

i think for me i prefer to read posts that to write them. lol. like who doesn't?

hahaha! just had quite a fun time sending sis home today. did tons of crazy stuffs, and tons of teasing within that 30 or isit 50 mins timespan? but dam tired.... im like practically dead.... stoning now too >< oh wells. tata! tmw going soon's house!

lol. nice. XP

i like my phone. hehe

=) NO MORE PRESENTATIONS !!!! YESH!!! =D

shut up and don't comment. im just writing my thoughts down to better think things through so SHUT UP if ur gonna comment.

seriously.... clarence was right. so i vented all my anger, all my hurt and dumped every inch of blame on him. his pathetic though. he hasn't learnt how to move on. can i say the same thing about myself? lol. this is the thing about it all. can i hate somehow, yet at the same time still care for that person? lol. interesting and probable concept. im no longer a part of lsct society. in body yeah, but in spirit? in presence? i no longer know how to communicate with them, a huge part of them to say the truth. like seriously. i see qin yi, kim, hadrian etc... i have no idea what to say to them besides teh words hi and bye. i dunno. i feel like im drifting away from everyone. balancing everyone, or rather to be more accurate, trying to balance everyone is wearing me out, trying to help and things lidat is also wearing me out, doing the nonesencial crap is also wearing me out. oh wells enough stupid thinking now. im not myself, too tired. as usual nowadays =.=

=.= on wed. i have 1 test, 1 report submissions.... AND TMW I HAVE TO STAY IN SCH TILL 6 for some stupid grad ushering! ><

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...on Wed i have 2 tests n 2 presentations!!!!
Hehe..

lol. u still can bring a smile to my face easily, without fail. ahahaha! im not! im full to the max! hehe

I'm Hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

LOL! grats sis for FINALLY completing ur critique. hehe. sianz sia. got alot of stuff in the next week. XP test, REPORTS. zomgosh. see ya around! (: (:

haha. i share your pain >< shrek shrek shrek shrek shrek
fish and co fish and co fish and co.

haha! went out after sch with sm and christine. lol. we went to fish and co, the topic was the same from afternoon till night. downright interesting. haha! and and and.... we talked, i got scolded for not letting them get served by the waiter when i just walked to the reception thingy and tooked a menu for them. in the course of eating, dam blur sia. first drop something. then dropped ice. then drop veggie then drop this. =.= diao siol. haha then the girls had the sudden inspiration to watch shrek. and Wow. grace was also in the same theatre, same movie, but we didn't see each other till after the movie. at the toilet she just walked past me. lol. i called her name in both english and chinese, her friend heard the el one, she heard the chinese one. never notice me. =.= lol! then bused home in 154 in which we camwhored a little. like 10 pictures. ><

NR NR NR NR NR NR NR NR NR
NSL NSL NSL NSL NSL NSL NSL
NS 1 NS 1 NS 1 NS 1 NS 1 NS 1 NS 1
NS 2 NS 2 NS 2 NS 2 NS 2 NS 2 NS 2
PHARM PHARM PHARM PHARM

bloody hell.

tired.

taking a leaf outta your own book. lol. experiences really shape and define us all. like past month, quite different from what i used to be. oh well. maybe, maybe not. who knows. im me and my judgement is affected by emotions. a bystander can make a better judgement.

dunno wut to post or talk about siol. haha so im just gonna talk with pictures. XP

Stress Stress Stress !!!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

just a little shift in my point of view XP

im about to slp. but i suddenly had this thought in mind. well, i had alot of crushes. and some that became something more. and whenever it happened, and im close to that person... its always this thought thats in my mind. to be honest, this is the main thought in my mind. i well, do not place the accept or reject thing higher, than whether would the subsequent outcomes would be. whether would the friendship degenerate, whether would there be an awkwardness thereafter.... things lidat.
thats kinda the thing i emo about. USED TO. haha. its just a crucial switch, That switch in your mindset. looking at it as... oh she rejected me... im useless, its the end of the world, how many times must it happen before i meet 'Her'? , Gosh... i feel inferior. why did she choose him over me?

WE can think that.... or...

oh wells, look at the positive side! at least we are still friends, there are more things we can freely bluntly talk about, at least i gained a friend at the very least, that says something about who i am isn't it? just a crucial switch.... and things change. =p

haha im glad i met you. im so much more happier than i was last time. influence.... the crazy type. Hais. XP yeah true... there are times i still feel alone, down etc. like ytd i was feeling really alone thanks to that stupid movie we watched.... but then, well, that was only for a little while XP

looking at what i just wrote, i think i drew out this fact. i think im good at connecting with people, understanding how they feel by relating it to me... i think im quite empathatic. haha. i hope thats true. (:

seriously.... i can't stand my mum most of the time. she has no freaking idea when not to say things, or the things she should say. like Hello?!? your the one with 40 years of life experiences. Not me. and i really don't get it, why does she always blame me for stuff that i didn't do? like kns sia. she just talks talks talks talks. when can she stop and think and not do her work all day long?

suprised once more.

lol. ive been through like.... okay lar. more like an eye opener. people are need company than they more than care to admit. those that don't.... i wonder what they are. for some reason, that video affected me in more ways that i can imagine. lol. just exaggrating. it was a love movie about this couple who started off hating each other. in the end they somehow took 12 years to know each other and became friends. LOL and they got married 2 years later after dating for 3 months. lmaoz....


this morning my group members came over to take pics of this and that to make into a video.... hais. i don't feel like talking anymore. not myself. >< bye!

sianz. i wished it was the same with all my friends. that im able to feel companionship with them. why can't people just take a walk or just sit down together without the need to talk? like just enjoy each other's company. i miss those times i shared with her. and seriously la. this is ridiculous.

a post after a while

starting off this post with a shingz XP


haha. jiayous jia yous jiayous. XP left with 2 -3 right? gogogo! (:
i find that this blog... is kinda a place where i come to rant.... obviously.... to say things that are on my mind. happy things i post once in a blue moon, when im not feeling lazy... but other than that... lol. people would find this one emo blog XP oh wells...... time to upload some pics. after sooo very long




this is like a book. a book, with me being the narrator.


walking with me under these lush canopies

Projects Projects Projects !!! Wah....need 2 chiong ah !!!

lol. so what i got rejected. we still can be good friends, good siblings. friendship between the two genders is not limited to simply bgr. it can be something else as well. lol. im not myself these two days. lack of slp, emotions are running a little high. im tired too. im so tired. at least im no longer lonely. lol.

yesterday was urgh.... so freaking long from 9 to 6. at least not 8 TO 6 that would be urgh...

diao.... i took a tumble today. rang ni jian xiao le. =.= ahahahaha stupid badminton racket =.=

lol. i liked the sitting down at the beach again. ahahaha reminds me of the clarke quay times. ahahahaha. hehe