rights. so i Do wan a answer badly.

im gonna do it. and for a week. i want an answer. i really want an answer outta that mess. literally. i just realised that till now it. the situation within the family is crappy enough alr, somehow it seems once again to be all my fault. i really want an answer you know? like for everything to conclude once and for all. like wut i told one of them before, don't wan to let it drag out. we have years in front of us, i would rather prefer spending that time for us to know each other better, deeper etc. its like some of them i alr know quite well, but how many of them know me well? not many people i reckon.

thinking about my personality, lols, i never tell one friend everything. i always seem to tell them in bits and peices here and there. and i feel that we two are drifting apart. i sincerly hope not. maybe we should have another talk sometime.....sometime....

brilliant. jamoose is coming back tmw! I wan THE USUAL SAT NIGHTS BACK SO MUCH.

its been quite long since i last posted or anything. now, im just feeling ONCE again that im very spoilt. like very? like in the past 2 wks, i spent 175 bucks alr. wth??? the most i spent was okay 500 plus or more in china alone. both times its on friend's presents. not that i regret spending those money on them BUT i regret wasting my parents money and grandma's money majority ON FOOD???? OMGOSH.

that aside, they say my posts are emo-y, this and tt, this and tt. but come on? this is like? one of the only places where i can just spill my thoughts and just think and comment right? like i tell people, they Always get the wrong idea somehow. not gonna elaborate. cause well, im slppy and i wan to slp.

right. ive offended like 7 people in the past month. i think thats gotta be some kinda personal record. thats dam dots. 5 settled, 2 NOT SETTLED, ONE MADE ME WAN TO VOMIT BLOOD LIAOS _>_ LIKE LITERALLY. but oh wells, ive kinda accepted it liaos. so well, put it in the hands of God, i think i shall fast next week for an answer. in fact for alot of things that i think i should put a full stop to them alr.

llew gnidrager eht ylrebmik gniht, now im thinking, woh ni eht dlrow did i llaf rof reh? it got so crappy, so y-ome that practically nearly messed up my entire life.

dna won i rednow ohw ni hcruhc nac i like tsurt. its totally crappy. i rednow tuw iak tign did. URGH!

these few wks, besides that one matter that still troubles me, lifes been great. minus the sins. did some uber nice things recently, going to watch planet 51 and then flyer with sm and friends, then 2 family gathering in the last weekend, parents and sis are on plane currently to china suzhou, and i miss them. and them, and them and them and them.thats why i don't like hols. the reason i like hols is cause its slower paced and that i can have ample rest. searching for a design now. hmms...hope it would turn out nice. i stink at this kinda stuffs.

star struck

when i was thinking once again, in times of need, who Can i turn to. when im feeling down and alone, and want some companionship, which of my friends i can turn to? always time after time, this had been the thing that had been affecting me alot. like not just alot, its the only one thing besides study that affects me. thats why i treasure relationships, friendships etc. i treat my friends, especially the friends in my cliques and church friends as brothers and sisters, and show them as much care as my sister. and thats the reason why im willing to listen, even for hours on the end, till the wee hours of the morning. and that drains me alot. and also, it had been the reason that ive been longing for a bgr. stupid right? but yeah. especially when u see people enjoying this sort of companionship with another daily, for nearly the entire day. This is my want. my one and only want. to be close with a friend, someone i can talk to whenever and wherever and whatever the time and place.

But today however, i was struck by this video that a friend posted.

Greg Laurie and Nick Vujicic

though i skipped to the end, it really touched me. how great it is to know that im not alone, though many a times i may be really down and stuff lidat But all i need to do is one thing. Just one thing.

overload.

well, tomorrow i won't be going again case of sch work. and im still ill so yeah.
and now i don't give a dam about what they think anymore. and i think they are glad to see me not there.

okay. im sick for the first time this year. im am so disorientated, disconnected.

A bridge over troubled water

be that bridge of mine oh Lord, mend the rifts and recast out the foundations for the bridge once more. and help me cast aside this pot of boiling oil within me, and let me rest and heal Lord, and not be injured and weary.