what ive been doing for the past three weeks since that wed was more or less, attempt to control, give her advice on how best to proceed, shield her from the reprecausions from friends, battling within as well. all for what? to see her smile? to see her happy and unfettered? yeah... im stupid arn't i? well, isit time to take backseat? maybe..... maybe not. see first. i would always be there for you to help, even when im also very weary. im sick of life once again. at another very low point, which i hadn't reached since sec 1 and 3. pouts* XP

im on the edge of quitting society too, its getting really stupid. last training then, spent the entire session doing what? Learning how to make on stupid mat? like lol..... traditions are made to be broken, stupidity is not knowing how to change in relation to time. or rather, there are reasons why people do quit, tackle those roots and won't there be more man power? ive stayed so far is so not to pang sei my friends adding on to the manpower shortage. but im at the limit of my patience for just so many things. respect for some of the sgls are also keeping me in, my friends. but i think if there are agls coming for the trainings, lol.... i think i would probably walk out. after all, thats what i nearly wanted to do during otc.

you can't have the best of two worlds. compromises are needed to be made somewhere.