i was mad. mad at myself for allowing me to get even more involved that i should. that i should had kept my distance. lol. and i just simply directed my anger at him. well that was the easy part. Lol. who was i kidding that she needed help? she can just solve her problems by herself, shes Older than me somemore. lol! i should had been confident in her ehh! hahahaha! as can i. im going to solve this dam problem by myself. mostly.

im tired. so dam bloody tired. i guess i had been running away from this, just burying it with tons of other things, not thinking about it really helped alot, but when im tired like now, my thoughts just seem to wander and it just goes around those few circles. nobody ever really knew why i got down and out whenever i get well, rejected. its actually just partially due to yeah me getting rejected. but mostly, in fact everytime, its just that im afraid that because of one dam change, in how i feel for someone, it would ruin and destroy the friendship. which is actually true for majority of the populace. oh well. one is only as happy as how he/she wans themself to be. so thats what im going to do! a smile on my face!