its times like this

its times like this when i need someone to talk to, its hard for me to find someone. its times like this when i need some encouragment, and whence do i find them? its times like this......

lol.....

lol... childhood sweethearts......load of crap. never had one. maybe had one in pri 5 and 6? but hate her like siaos then lol. now shes another friend i can talk to. :) lol. liking someone is not easy. loving someone is EVEN harder. but i think i do know how to love my neighbour. i hope i do know how to. love is patient, love is kind.... lol. am wondering why love like and bgr are like the common topics i post on recently. retarded. i had plenty of crushes -.- but liking someone is kinda a not so easy thing for me. it doesn't happen often. and i can like someone for years.. that i do know very well......:S

blogger and facebook ARE screwed. at least its this period of time. LOL! can concentrate on study first. i cannot access EVEN MY OWN BLOG!?!? who cares....shit happens LOL!

its the things that....

im kinda suprised that im actually posting this here. even though i thought of making this my private blog, but then i found it quite troublesome.. so yeah its not privated so ive haven't been saying what i really think, but now this is what im thinking right now.



im thinking that it is actually intriguing to see that ive grown so much and yet at the same time, theres no difference in me now and in sec sch. the same thing is i get influenced very easily. though i know very clearly whats right from wrong, and won't do wad is not right, i still get influenced. the thing that had changed however is actually ive deproved in many areas. like singing for example.



but one thing that hadn't changed from last year was to care. in fact its been wearing me out but i welcome it cause it makes me remember what its like to feel. and i like doing it. dunno how to describe but its like when someone gets over their problem, i feel happy for them:) thats prob why i haven't given up till now.



bgr. well its getting to me. in a sense its kinda influencing me,with all the sudden open bgrs popping up around me, to get into one but ive thought it through. well, im not going to get into one. unless theres a person who wans to get into one with me then maybe.. but im not going to get into one just for the sake of getting into one. seriously ive been dam confused bout the crap thats been surging within me. why can't i just meet someone who makes me cathartic just as i make her feel the same way? hmm. just leaving this mess for the Lord. take my joy and my sorrow oh Lord. it really isn't helping when im singing more than words.



i wrote two poems im just gonna dump them here. annoyed alr, took much longer on this post than i wanted thinking of wad to write. so yeah here u go, enjoy.

Perceptions

A little star in the night sky,

Gazing upwards in silence, I said,

its all alone.

A pearl in the ocean,

Gazing downwards in silence, I said,

its wondrous.

A friend that I went to in despair,

gazing at him I said,

you don’t understand me.

A teardrop on a cheek,

I gazed at it and said,

You’re sad.





I gazed back at him

Thanks for noticing, but what can you do?

I can..

Be there for you

I gazed into the openness

Thank you, Friend.

and.....

Alone.

At 11pm daily,

Silence. That’s all I hear.

Silence, save the howling of the wind.

Silence, save the roaring of engines.

Silence, save the sound of my typing.

Silence…..

Silence……..

At 11 pm daily,

Alone, that’s what I am now.

Alone, that’s what gives me fear.

Alone, that’s what I feel.

Alone, that’s what the whispers of the voices in the wind tells me

Alone……

Alone………..

At 11 pm daily,

I think, am I really alone?

I wonder, who can I talk to right now?

I hunger, for someone I can care for.

I long, for affections aplenty.

I envision, what life is without loneliness.

I realize, I am not alone,

I found out, I have brothers and sisters who care.

I grasped the truth, that the Lord is with me.

and last but not least, the dam song im learning -.-

GIRL:

Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you

It’s not that I want you

Not to say, but if you only knew

GUY:

How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me

Cos Id already know

GIRL:

What would you do if my heart was torn in two

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

GUY:

What would you say if I took those words away

Then you couldnt make things new

Just by saying I love you



More than words

(BRIDGE)

GUY:

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand

All you have to do is close your eyes

And just reach out your hands and touch me

GIRL:

Hold me close dont ever let me go

More than words is all I ever needed you to show

Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me

Cos Id already know

GIRLS:

What would you do if my heart was torn in two

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

GUYS:

What would you say if I took those words away

Then you couldnt make things new

Just by saying I love you

More than words

(BRIDGE BRIDGE: everyone)

things to look forward to!

looking forward to hols for two reasons. more time to spend with them and her, to know these dear friends better. learn how play the flute! and also wanna learn cooking from my maid! then things to do! visit my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather more, time left with them is ticking away! NO playing of com games AT ALL! and also be a helper when i can. :)

cher's day coming! hoping for a usual day's out with the usual gang! hopefully we can. no sure leh, ben and lester should have exams coming and yee mun's Os are near. really miss being with them. and prob would see the old gang too at ctss! :) miss the times we had together too. dang! im missing alot of things!


new man, new life. how i wish we could spend so much more time together. time does flies. :)

sianz....

sianz.... if only she wasn't busy with her stuff. love talking to her but seldom have the chance... we click the best amoung the rest. i think... wonder does she feel the same way.

anyway, lol. im actually learning the song now. -.- then tmw onwards is mug mug mug mug mug mug mug mug mug. so ta! won;t be online at all, but u know my no. so need someone to talk to sms me. but my phone kinda sot. so yeah. cheers! :) have a great wk ahead. :)

lol. i think the performance is making my hype bout society too :S

my brain is officially malfunctioning. im doing things that i dunno why the heck im doing it for.

okay. i just think my voice sucks big time now. like literally? i can't carry a freaking tune anymore and its so dam irratating.

singing more than words for the performance, seriously, i wanna puke at my own singing -.- i go outta tune _l_ and all the crap comes out -.- like 2 years ago i never even know what outta tune was cause i never went outta tune and now? im screwing up. dam. my primes over -.- now im just a failed musician. so symbolic, just like les chorites, clement mathieu.

i need a long break.